Relationships are different than they were 20 years ago. More than 50% of all marriages fail - for one reason or another. Just thinking about that makes “commitment” scary. It seems that when relationships are faced with challenges, people quit. Dating is more like a marathon, trying to date as many people as possible, instead of taking time to get to know someone at a deep level. For married couples, divorce is not biased. Whether married for thirty years or eight months, the outcome can be the same. The fact is that relationships are hard. Things do not always go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to make it. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The “spark” has gone, leaving one or both people feeling inadequate and unfulfilled.

However, even though the odds are not good, a healthy and long-lasting relationship is possible and proven by many people. Look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman, or Nancy and Ronald Regan. What secrets do they possess? The answer is that they all work hard at their relationship. They made a decision of choosing to love their mate rather than relying on the “warm and fuzzy” feelings, which fades. By making love a choice you are making a decision that even in the bad times, you stick together.

Think of it like choosing a car. You pick out the make, model, year, color, and features that you believe are best for you. After driving your car for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, a sunroof would have been nice. However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car. It is the same for marriage. Not everything will be perfect, and there will be obstacles to overcome, but you have made your decision and now you must choose to make it work.